HAPPY HOLIDAZE: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

We won't lie, Christmas is one of our favorite holidays. What's not to like? No work, free shit, booze, food and football. It is, however, a holiday that's traditionally a little anemic in the metal department. But don't worry, we came to this bash ready to party. After the jump, we've highlighted some of our favorite Christmas-themed metal, punk and rock'n'roll to make your yuletide kickass.

Also, be sure to check out all our favorite albums of 2010. Tell us where we went wrong. Tell us what we got right. Have any suggestions for 2011? Let us know. We want to hear from you!

Van Damned's Best of 2010

Andrew Wilhelms' Best 0f 2010

theseseans' Best of 2010

Chase Macabre's Best of 2010

Ill? Ya!'s Best of 2010

We'll see you next year.

Lemmy Kilmister, Billy F. Gibbons, Dave Grohl - "Run Rudolph Run"


Type O Negative - "Red Water (Christmas Mourning)"


King Diamond - "No Presents For Christmas"


Venom - "Metal Xmas"


Halford - "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel"


August Burns Red - "Carol of the Bells"


Tankard - "Fuck Christmas"


Austrian Death Machine - "Jingle Bells"


Manowar - "Silent Night"


AC/DC - "Mistress for Christmas


Trans-Siberian Orchestra - "Wizards in Winter"


[Ed. note: And my personal favorite:]


The Ramones - "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)"


Fear - "Fuck Christmas"


The Damned - "There Ain't No Sanity Clause"


Dokken - "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"


Spinal Tap - "Christmas with the Devil"


Christmas caroling with GWAR


"I AM SANTA CLAUS!"


And, because no Christmas is complete with out Run-DMC, here's "Christmas in Hollis."


Did we forget any?

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VAN DAMNED'S BEST OF 2010

Every year or so seems to bring with it a New Wave of something as kids grow up and yearn for the music of their formative years. Think about it: In the past decade, we've seen New Waves of American Heavy Metal (yuck!), Crossover Thrash (re-thrash?), Progressive Technical Metal (got djent?) and Old School Death Metal (meh). This year was no exception, seeing a slew of releases from not one but two New Waves -- the filthy, buzz-sawed Entombed-core of bands like the Secret, Trap Them, Black Breath and Masakari, and the traditional, occult heavy metal and proto-doom of bands like Christian Mistress, Ghost and Cauchemar. Thank goodness, then, that both waves bore a glut of stellar releases, or else we would have all gotten pretty bored with their respective shticks and moved on. But whatever. There was good music released from spectrums. Below is what I liked. Which ones did you like? Holler. We'll do this again in 12 months.


10~

Nails
Unsilent Death [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

Ten songs, 15 minutes -- pure, unadulterated fury. Not since Gridlink’s Amber Grey has so much been said in so little time. Grind, hardcore, death, it’s all here. Blink and you’ll miss it (so don’t).

Crucial Crust: "Suffering Soul" [MP3]


9~

Electric Wizard
Black Masses [Purchase]
(Rise Above)

Dorset doom titans pick up the pace with their latest slab of lysergic, psychedelic haze. A sexy, swingin’ Satanic freak-fest that's a little more rockin’ than their previous death dirges.

P.S. Liz Buckingham, will you marry me?

Crucial Crust: Venus in Furs (No, not that one, dummy) [MP3]


8~

Triptykon
Eparistera Daimones [Purchase]
(Century Media)

Picking up almost literally from where Monotheist left off, Tom Warrior’s latest missive is the year’s heaviest. Crushing tone, suffocating bleakness, unrivaled majesty; Eparistara is gorgeous -- if challenging -- perfection that belongs in a category all its own.

Crucial Crust: "A Thousand Lies" [MP3]


7~

Burzum
Belus [Purchase]
(Byelobog Productions)

Eight stone-cold killer tracks (too soon?) from TNBM's highest profile provocateur. As beautiful as it is controversial, Belus is the past 16 years of black metal-behind-bars distilled into one icy platter.

Crucial Crust: "Glemselens elv"


6~

Masakari
The Prophet Feeds [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

Named for the Japanese instrument of death, Masakari cleave crusty D-beat and metallic hardcore with stunning results (see what I did there?) Filled with enough vitriol against organized religion, politics, race and culture to dampen even the sunniest of outlooks, Prophet is nevertheless insanely addictive and ultimately fulfilling.

Crucial Crust: "Rapid Dominance" [MP3]


5~

Darkthrone
Circle The Wagons [Purchase]
(Peaceville)

Second-Wave darlings turn crusty trad/metal punk scions. Circle is the triptych capstone begun with 2007's F.O.A.D. -- raw, catchy and full of old-man piss and vinegar. New Wave of Black Heavy Metal, indeed.

Crucial Crust: "Circle The Wagons"


4~

Twilight
Monument To Time End [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

Shrinebuilder may have been the go-to supergroup in the last year of the Aughts, but Twilight takes it in the first year of the '10s. Damaged, scuzzy, art-school black metal from scene vets far outside the Fauxhemian, chin-scratcher crowd.

Crucial Crust: "Negative Signal Omega" [MP3]


3~

Thou
Summit [Purchase]
(Gilead Media)

If The Tenant is the black metal equivalent of gritty urban decay, then Summit must be sludge metal's answer to the Gulf oil spill. Radiant waves of melody peek through roiling blackness; the cover's toxic smokestacks totems for this superb slab of Southern discomfort.

Crucial Crust: "Grissecon" [MP3]


2~

Agalloch
Marrow Of The Spirit [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

Portland avant-gardists paint folk metal with epic swaths of black blastbeats, ice-blue tremolo picking, red-blooded brawn and gray-hued funereal atmospherics. This is sublime and haunting (and mandatory) listening. Post-pastoral-blackened-folk-doom metal? Works for me.

Crucial Crust: "The Watcher's Monolith" [MP3]


1~

Ludicra
The Tenant [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

The primeval forest; the deep, dark wood; the unknown -- and unknowable -- hinterlands: horror archetypes as old as fear itself. Even before the Brothers Grimm sent Hansel and Gretel to their unfortunate (and grisly) ends, pagan folklore instilled in children that fear of the place where darkness and nature meet.

It's no wonder, then, that Scandinavian black metal draws so heavily from that aesthetic, as rife as that part of the world is with grim and frostbitten wildwood.

And that's what makes The Tenant so subversively brilliant. Ludicra hail not from the black wilderness of the Fell, but from the blighted urbanity of San Francisco. Their dark woods are pitted concrete and rusted steel; their winter wolves crazed drug addicts and muggers. Theirs is the horror of being alone in a crowd. They write from what they know: that there’s as much to fear within civilization as there is without.

The sound of The Tenant takes its inspiration from those original Scandinavian black metal blizzard beasts -- the blood-curdling shrieks, the icy tremolo picking, the blastbeats -- but colors it with muscular trad metal riffs, ethereal vocal melodies, crusty punk gallops and flourishes of folk, psych and prog. It’s a whirlwind listening experience; the presence of vocalist Laurie Sue Shanaman and guitarist/vocalist Christy Cather providing a fascinating yin to guitarist John Cobbett, bassist Ross Sewage and drummer Aesop Dekker’s yang -- a tug-of-war between the masculine and the feminine that overhauls a sound that has become as stagnant as it is familiar.

Crucial Crust: "A Clean, White Void" [MP3]

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Honorable Mentions:

Man's Gin - Smiling Dogs: Cobalt mastermind Erik Wunder channels the ghosts of Layne Staley and Hank Williams on this paean to Americana, moonshine and warfare. Dark as an Appalachian holler at the witching hour, Dogs is a slow-burn meditation on death and dying.

Clair Cassis - Clair Cassis: "Luxurious black metal inspired by drugs, fine perfume and graveyards." Basically the '60s pop version of Velvet Cacoon. Elegant, menacing, bass-heavy -- this is the black drone of a sea storm at midnight. But, you know, like, really fancy and fun to listen to.

Killing Joke - Absolute Dissent: The post punk/industrial icons regroup for their most compelling album in (literally) decades. It's at times anthemic, caustic, euphoric, mournful, hypnotic, dancey(!) but never, ever boring.

Nachtmystium - Addicts: Black Metal Pt. II: Forget the gang chants, Pink Floyd-isms and Goatsnake covers, Blake Judd's latest dares to take black metal as far away from corpsepaint and Filosofem as anyone else this side of fellow Windy Citizens Locrian.

Woe - Quietly, Undramatically: A bunch of Philly kids make the clear-eyed, progressive black metal anthem of the year with the title track. The rest is a smeared -- yet relatively cohesive -- blur of blasting post metal and effective grimness.

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Demos:

Uzala demo CS/CD: Boise doom crew's four-song entry into greatness. Witchy vocals delivered by the multi-talented Darcy Nutt give this thing real legs.

Dispirit - Rehearsal at Oboroten CS: USBM overlord John Gossard's (Weakling, Asunder) new project. Decrepit, atonal, unholy.

The Impalers 2010 demo CS: Lemmy-lovin' Austinites D-beat and Frost-grunt their way through five songs in 10 minutes, flangers set to "Kill."

Xibalba - Itzaes 2010 demo CS: Ultra-grim n’ lo-fi, ancient Mayan-obsessed Mexican black metal cult weird out over oompah beats and vocoder boxes. Shit is kooky!

<><><>

The Best of the Rest:
Autopsy - The Tomb Within EP (Peaceville)
Converge - On My Shield 7" (Deathwish Inc.)
Dove - s/t LP/CS (Financial Ruin)
Hayaino Daisuki - Invincible Gate Mind Of The Infernal Fire Hell EP (Hydra Head)
Magrudergrind - Crusher EP (Scion A/V)
Skagos/Panopticon split CD (Flenser)
Stormcrow/Coffins split 12" (20 Buck Spin)
Weekend Nachos - Bleed EP (Relapse)

<><><>

Miscellaneous and Sundry:
Best Live Album: Down - Diary of a Mad Band
Best Book: Tom Warrior - Only Death is Real
Best Online Mixtape Collection: Fenriz' Trapped Under Vice series
Best Festival: TIE -- Live Evil (UK); Rites of Darkness (USA)
Best Opeth Song Release On A Soundtrack: "The Throat of Winter"
Biggest Regret: Not seeing Ludicra or Triptykon
Guilty Pleasure: Witch House/Ghost Drone/Drag
RIP: Ronnie James Dio, Peter Steele, Armando Acosta, Peter "Sleazy" Christopherson, Makh Daniels, Paul Gray, Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan

<><><>

Best Electronic/Non-Metal Albums:
Autechre - Oversteps
Blessure Grave - Judged by Many, Carried by Six
Clubroot - II MMX
Dagger Paths - Forest Swords
Dead Meadow - Three Kings
Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma
Girl Talk - All Day
Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
Holy Fuck - Latin
Salem - King Night
Worm Ouroboros - Worm Ouroboros

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NOISECREEP DEBUT NEW CROWBAR SONG

Apparently Kirk Windstein knows a thing or two about foreplay. First, tease your fans with a string of epic shows, then drop one crushing new track per month, so that the entire metal world blows their load the second the full album comes out. Not bad.

Last month Crowbar gave us the hardcore-paced rehab-anthem "Cemetery Angels;" now they've dropped the haunting "Let Me Mourn," once again on Noisecreep. One more of these and I won't be able to walk around in public without a trenchcoat. Hear "Let Me Mourn" after the break.

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ILL? YA!'S BEST OF 2010

10~

The Meads Of Asphodel
The Murder Of Jesus The Jew [Purchase]
(Candlelight Records)

I'm cheating a bit here. The Murder... is not necessarily the best album of the year, but it’s certainly the most bizarre (aside from Sigh’s Scenes from Hell perhaps). From black metal wails and unrelenting blasts to trumpet solos, angelic choruses and lengthy soliloquies, I’m not sure if I even like what these Brits are doing, but I can’t stop listening to it.


9~

Melechesh
Epigenesis [Purchase]
(Nuclear Blast)

Thrashy and dark in equal parts, this is the most memorable release by Melechesh so far. The middle eastern influence both forms the melodic backbone and fills out the atmosphere of most songs with an array of native instruments. Forest is replaced with desert, icy moon with scorching sun, and Odin worship turns into Sumerian lore; in a crowded black metal landscape, it's a welcome change.

Crucial cut: "Illumination: The Face Of Shamash"


8~

Salome
Terminal [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

Salome are a live band, period. Their music is simple, straightforward – the magic comes from seeing it pour fourth live, emanating from somewhere beneath the ground like mountains forming from tectonic collisions. Terminal is not too shoddy of an approximation though, steeped as it is in the band’s trademark pace changes and remarkable ability to use silence as a weapon. Honestly, this album would be at a higher spot on the list if I had NOT seen the band live before. Still, it's a preview or reminder at best.

Crucial cut: "Epidemic" [MP3]


7~

Thou
Summit [Purchase]
(Gilead Media)

Summit doesn't so much beat you senseless – the way Terminal might - as suffocate and drown you in layers of riffs, rasps and feedback. The album is also maddeningly laid-back, floating in a weird, tense space between funeral doom and sludge and never giving you the satisfaction either genre can deliver. In the end, this is one I 'appreciate' more than I actually 'like.'

Crucial cut: "Grissecon" [MP3]


6~

Rosetta
A Determinism Of Morality [Purchase]
(Translation Loss)

Rosetta's little piece of self-loathing on Facebook reads “Four low-achieving nu-metal kids who discovered marijuana and Isis approximately six months ago.” Fuck if I believe that. A Determinism... elevates them to the very height of the post-whatever genre, ebbing and flowing like some kind of gaseous cloud far beyond the stratosphere. A beautiful album that, for once, your 'normal' friends might also appreciate.

Crucial cut: "Ayil" [MP3]


5~

Winterfylleth
The Mercian Sphere [Purchase]
(Candlelight)

Winterfylleth have crafted a perfect mix of somber, vicious and uplifting black metal on The Mercian Sphere. Melodic, sweeping, thick...'mossy'. I'm running out of cliches, so let's just say that most of these songs sound like they were found, not just written.

Crucial cut: "To Find Solace... Where Security Stands"


4~

Decrepit Birth
Polarity [Purchase]
(Nuclear Blast)

The Death worship on Polarity release isn't very subtle, but that's the point. If you're into the more old-school, primal death metal that's cropping up all-over the place, this won't be for you. But if you want brutality mixed with progression, melody and mind-blowing guitar work, look no further – this is motherfucking space-death. You know the planets that Salome conjure violently forming, Winterfylleth show overgrowing with forests and Rosetta envision spinning in space? Well, now it's time for them to collide and Decrepit Birth provide that soundtrack.

Crucial cut: "Solar Impulse"


3~

Misery Index
Heirs To Thievery [Purchase]
(Relapse>)

Unlike Decrepit Birth, Misery Index don't really fuck around too much with atmospheres and solos. Actually, they just don't fuck around. Heirs to Thievery is the most unrelentingly teeth-clenching, vein-popping release on this list. More than before, Heirs has an industrial, machine-like quality, as if the songs are being stamped down by giant, rusty chunks of metal. No wonder these guys sparked one of the most violent mosh pits I've ever seen. There's nothing remotely human here, just a giant wrecking ball to the brain.

Crucial cut: "Heirs To Thievery" [MP3]


2~

Immolation
Majesty & Decay [Purchase]
(Nuclear Blast)

If Heirs to Thievery sounds like one giant death factory, Immolation's Majesty & Decay has a much more organic quality, though it's no less frightening. Everything here – pace, production, vocals – is just immense. While lesser bands fade within a few albums, Immolation have somehow managed to somehow top themselves 20 years into their career.

Crucial cut: "A Glorious Epoch"


1~

Ludicra
The Tenant [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

While all the releases on this list are certainly at the top of their respective genres, only The Tenant goes one step further and shreds the very idea of “genre” to bits. Beautiful melodies swirl in between vicious riffs, drums plod and blast, voices rage and songs subjugate styles, not the other way around. If I had to sum-up “metal” with one release, this would be it.

Crucial cut: "A Clean, White Void" [MP3]

~~~~~~

Top shows of 2010:
-Concussion, Magrudergrind, Misery Index @ Union Pool in February
-Chambers, Tiger Flowers, The Abominable Iron Sloth @ Party Expo in May
-Mass Grave, Oak, Coffins @ a warehouse with a bunch of crusties near a cemetery in Baltimore in May
-Crowbar @ Santo's Party House in December

~~~~~~

Favorite heavy bands I discovered in 2010:
-Mass Grave
-Gnaw Their Tongues
-Weapon
-Cobalt
-Igorrr

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MOTORHEAD ANNOUNCES NORTH AMERICAN DATES

Metalheads of North America, your lord and savior will be paying you a visit in the new year.

Do we need to say more? Well, there's also been a movie made about His Holiness, and it will be playing in select theaters next month. Praise the Lord!

Dates for the movie and concerts, as well as a trailer, below.

Motorhead/Clutch/Valient Thorr 2011 Tour

01/29 Las Vegas, NV – House Of Blues
01/30 San Luis Obispo, CA – SLO Brew
01/31 San Diego, CA – House of Blues
02/01 Sacramento, CA – Harlow’s
02/02 San Francisco, CA – Warfield Theatre
02/04 Seattle, WA – Showbox SoDo
02/05 Portland, OR – Roseland Theater
02/07 Vancouver, BC – Vogue Theater
02/09 Edmonton, AB – Edmonton Events Center
02/10 Calgary, AB – Flames Central
02/12 Winnipeg, MB – Burton Cummings Theatre
02/15 Minneapolis, MN – First Avenue
02/16 Milwaukee, WI – Rave Ballroom
02/17 Kansas City, MO – Midland Theatre
02/19 Chicago, IL – Congress Theatre
02/20 Sauget, IL – Pop’s
02/22 Grand Rapids, MI – Orbit Room
02/23 Royal Oak, MI – Royal Oak Theatre
02/25 Kitchener, ON – Elements
02/26 Toronto, ON – Koolhaus
03/01 Boston, MA – House of Blues
03/08 Austin, TX – Stubbs
03/10 Tempe, AZ – Marquee Theatre
03/11 Los Angeles, CA – Nokia Live

Lemmy Screenings

Jan. 14-21: Portland (Or.), The Clinton St. Theater
Jan. 14-21: Austin, Texas, Draft House Downtown
Jan. 14-TBD: Atlanta, The Plaza
Jan. 15: Long Beach, Calif., The Art Theatre of Long Beach
Jan. 17-20: Milwaukee, Times Cinema
Jan. 21-TBD, New York, Cinema Village
Jan. 21-TBD, Los Angeles, Laemmle's Sunset 5
Jan. 23-24, Nashville, Belcourt Theatre
Jan. 26, San Antonio, Alamo Drafthouse Westlakes
Feb. 1-2, San Francisco, The Roxie
Feb. 4-10, Seattle, Northwest Film Forum
Feb. 5, Macon, GA, Cox Capitol Theatre

Lemmy Trailer:

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ANDREW WILHELM'S BEST OF 2010

Lists are very much self indulgent, but if you don't indulge in anything, you are boring. Some folks indulge in foie gras, some in cheap hookers - I indulge in stirring the tempest of the Internets. It's our vices that make us people. Without further ado, here is my list of the ten best records this year. If you agree or disagree (my preference), holla in the comments. Have a trill new year.


10~

The Secret
Solve et Coagula [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

When it came metallic hardcore this year, Southern Lord shut the game down. Even though their BPM is higher than most Southern Lord acts, the Secret actually fit in well with the label, if only that they have esoteric, intangible elements in their sound. And check out that diabolical Bartlett cover!

Crucial Cut: "Double Slaughter" [MP3]


9~

Inquisition
Ominous Doctrines of the Perpetual Mystical Macrocosm [Purchase]
(Hells Headbangers)

If the corpse paint and Satanic imagery of Inquisition turn you off (i.e. you heart -- or are in -- Nachtmystium), too bad for your dumb ass, 'cause there's a lot more going on in this record. While the duo recognize ambiance is an integral aspect of black metal, that does not get in the way of riffs. And while NPR's Lars Gotrich may disagree with me, you gotta love Dagon's Abbath-on-that-sizzurp vocal style.

Crucial cut: "Command Of The Dark Crown" [MP3]


8~

Immolation
Majesty & Decay [Purchase]
(Nuclear Blast)

Immolation's last couple records got to the point, but at the sacrifice of the maze-like patterns that put them in the death metal elite. They've managed to reconcile those two elements on Decay, resulting in their best record since Close to a World Below. In vertigo you will be.

Crucial cut: "The Purge"


7~

Locrian
Territories [Purchase]
(At War With False Noise/Basses Frequences/Bloodlust!/Small Doses)

Locrian exist in the metal world, if only orbiting it from afar. The duo float through noise, black metal and dark ambient, creating the year's finest headphones album. And Blake Judd's finest performance of 2010 was not on Addicts, but his guitar work on "Procession of Ancestral Brutalism."

Crucial cut: "Between Barrows" [MP3]


6~

Sailors With Wax Wings
Sailors With Wax Wings [Purchase]
(Angel Oven)

R. Loren can do no wrong. He expresses more of his metal side on this record than his others, and contributions from a wide range of artists such as Dominick Fenrow and Marissa Nadler really make this something special. Of course, I'm also a huge Pyramids fanboy.

Crucial cut: "And Clash And Clash of Hoof and Heel"


5~

Masakari
The Prophet Feeds [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

Part two of "Holy shit, Southern Lord dominated hardcore in 2010." Sociopolitical melodic crust done right. Cleveland may have lost LeBron, but they got themselves some real champions with these dudes.

Crucial cut: "Rapid Dominance" [MP3]


4~

High On Fire
Snakes For The Divine [Purchase]
(Koch Records)

The thought of High on Fire and Slim Thug being on the same label makes me giddy, but seriously, Matt Pike and his boys stepped it up this year. This is triumphant, pump-your-ass-up material. Not quite as stonery as the last few records, but High on Fire were never stoner metal anyway. They are heavy fucking metal.

Crucial cut: "Snakes for the Divine"


3~

The Body
All the Waters of the Earth Turn to Blood [Purchase]
(At a Loss/Aum War)

A band from the smallest state in the union make the biggest sounds of the year. Yeah, it may not make much sense at first, but pop this record on -- full of suicidal shrieks and twists and turns into industrial, choir music and what the fuck else -- and you'll understand. And more bands need to mix metal and speaking in tongues.

Crucial cut: "Empty Hearth" [MP3]


2~

Agalloch
Marrow Of The Spirit [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

Next to High on Fire and Triptykon, this had to be the most anticipated record of the year. And it delivered on all accounts. While Agalloch were never really lacking in the drum department, Aesop Dekker does heighten their place in Agalloch's sound. The electronics and cello add new depth to the already-stellar songwriting.

Crucial cut: "The Watcher's Monolith" [MP3]


1~

Triptykon
Eparistera Daimones [Purchase]
(Century Media)

Tom G. Warrior needs to hold seminars on getting the heaviest guitar tones. Even then, his students could never write and perform an album this musically, emotionally, psychologically heavy. Damiones belongs with Morbid Tales and To Mega Therion. No bullshit.

Crucial cut: All of them. ("A Thousand Lies" [MP3])

Runners up:

Nails - Unsilent Death
Salome - Terminal
Watain - Lawless Darkness
White Moth - S/T
Harvey Milk - A Small Turn of Human Kindness
Trap Them - Filth Rations
Black Breath - Heavy Breathing
Child Abuse - Cut and Run
Burzum - Belus (Actually, I wasn't really fond of this record, I just liked seeing the PC fucks get upset.)

Top 10 Shows of the Year

1. and 2. The Eyehategod weekend - 6/19 and 6/20 at the Empty Bottle
3. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum 4/18 @ Bottom Lounge
4. The Melvins - 6/26 @ Double Door
5. Pentagram - 1/30 @ Empty Bottle
6. Bloodyminded - 4/23 @ The Moprey (R.I.P.)
7. Alcest - 4/24 @ Reggie's Rock Club
8. The Body - 7/26 @ Metal Shaker
9. Cold Cave - 6/17 @ Empty Bottle
10. Tie: High on Fire 4/2 @ Lincoln Hall and Converge - 5/9 @ Bottom Lounge

2009 Records I Should Have Discovered in 2009

Cold Cave - Love Comes Close
Morne - S/T
Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster
The Chasm - Farseeing the Paranormal Abysm

The 5 Kuma's Burgers that were much better than my three months at Northwestern University:

1. The Led Zeppelin: Pulled pork, bacon, cheddar cheese. You can get it with pickles too, but pickles are godawful.
2. The Insect Warfare: Panko-crusted medallion of goat cheese, creme fraiche, roasted corn and green chile salsa (SERIOUSLY DUDES, BRING THIS ONE BACK!).
3. The Black Oak Arkansas: Three Floyds Alpha King battered shallots, red wine barbecue sauce, white cheddar, bacon
4. The Lair of the Minotaur: Caramelized onions, pancetta, bourbon-soaked pears, brie.
5. The Black Sabbath: Blackening spice, chili, pepper jack, red onion.

Best Song of the Year, No Question:

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'SMALL DOSES' OF GRIND AND NOISE

Mortville Noise has put out a collection of 100 noise and grind artists together for the release Small Doses. Our NYC dooom favs Batillus were asked to participate in the project and guitarist Greg Peterson commented about their track:

[It is] a 30 second edit/remix of a demo for a song on our new album which comes out in the spring. It's much more gnarled and lo-fi than anything else we've released so far.

Another constant 'cake favorite Andrew Nolan contributed for his Joshua Norton Cabal noise act. Andrew commented on creating such a short piece:

I had to apply the kind of dynamics that I would use in The Endless Blockade to the type of sounds I use in Joshua Norton Cabal.

The goal for me was to make it sound like Joshua Norton Cabal and not an Endless Blockade noise track, which tend to be much less cut up and thus more linear than what I was trying to do with "Images From the Floating World" [the title to his contribution].

Read more for the full statements from Batillus and Joshua Norton Cabal along with a sweet promo video for Small Doses and a full list of the 100 international groups involved. Mortville, we applaud your dedication to such an ambitious release.



Batillus:

Our song on the comp is a 30 second edit/remix of a demo for a song on our new album which comes out in the spring. It's much more gnarled and lo-fi than anything else we've released so far, in order to fit in more with the aesthetic of the label. Speaking of which, I've (Greg) known Andy of Mortville Records since high school, and so I was happy to be able to contribute something to what will likely be his last release. You might think that Batillus is a little out of our element, stuck in the midst of a bunch of grind/noise/pirate/filthcore from around the globe, but we saw this project as a way to reach out to a new audience and possibly grab some new fans.

Joshua Norton Cabal:

Since the beginning of Joshua Norton Cabal (sometime around 1996) I decided that the juxtaposition of harsh electronic noise, environmental sounds and other people's music intentionally altered and recycled would be the most basic foundation of my sound. In the last year or so vocals have become more important to the finished product.

To translate this into a 28 second piece I had to apply the kind of dynamics that I would use in The Endless Blockade to the type of sounds I use in Joshua Norton Cabal.

The goal for me was to make it sound like Joshua Norton Cabal and not an Endless Blockade noise track, which tend to be much less cut up and thus more linear than what I was trying to do with "Images From the Floating World"

Andy Koettel of Mortville posted on a message board that I used to be a part of looking for contributions and it went from there. I was pleasantly surprised to see just how many friends and former band mates and collaborators ended up being on the final product.

Small Doses Line Up:
2 MINUTA DREKA (Italy)
7 MINUTES OF NAUSEA (Germany)
ALBACH (Scotland)
AGATHOCLES (Belgium)
AKBK (Japan)
AMNOGOMUSIKIMALO (Russia)
ATAQUE CARDIACO (Brazil)
BARBARIAN SCUM (United Kingdom)
BATILLUS (USA)
BEARTRAP (Japan)
BLACK MARKET FETUS (USA)
BLAST FEMUR (USA)
BLOODY RECTUM (USA)
BONESAW (Scotland)
BRAID OF BLACK SMOKE (USA)
CACASONICA (Ecuador)
CAPTAIN THREE LEG (USA)
CAULIFLOWER ASS & BOB (USA)
CDR (Japan)
CEDRIC’S LETTUCE (USA)
CHADBURGER (Korea)
CHOCOLATE CRUCIFIX (USA)
COGS AND SPROCKETS (USA)
COLICO (Ecuador)
COMPARATIVE ANATOMY (USA)
CROWD SURFERS MUST DIE (Holland)
DEEP FRIED EMBRYO (USA)
DERANGED INSANE (Brazil)
DIS-EASED (Canada)
DISPEPSIAA (Brazil)
DOKTOR BITCH (USA)
DROGHEDA (USA)
DYSMORFIC (Italy)
EARWIGS (USA)
FACIALMESS (Japan)
FASCIST INSECT (USA)
FUNERAL MONGOLOIDS (Finland)
FUNG TUNT (Canada)
GANGBANG GESTAPO (USA)
GODSTOMPER (USA)
GORGONIZED DORKS (USA)
GRAND OLD LADY (USA)
HARD CHARGER (Canada)
HARSH SUPPLEMENT (Canada)
HELLO KITTY MOTHER FUCKERS (USA)
INTESTINAL FORTITUDE (USA)
IRON BUTTER (USA)
JET JAGUAR KR-3 KILL SPREE (USA)
JOE PESCI (United Kingdom)
JOHNSTOMPER (USA)
JOSHUA NORTON CABAL (Canada)
JUHYO (USA)
KALI YUGA DEATH PARTY (France)
KUSARI GAMA KILL (Denmark)
LED BEASTIES (USA)
MAD EYE DISEASE (Zimbabwae)
MAKUA VALLEY BLAST TEST (USA)
MEET THE SQUIDABLES (USA)
MELANOCETUS MURRAYI (Greece)
MESRINE (Canada)
METROPOLIS (Japan)
MOLECULAR CLOUD (Canada)
MUMMIFIER (USA)
MUTWAWA (USA)
NATURALS (USA)
NECROLYTIC (USA)
NIHILIST COMMANDO (Finland)
NIKUDOREI (Japan)
NUT SCREAMER (USA)
PAPACONIA (Japan)
PARLAMENTARISK SODOMI (Norway)
PATISSERIE (Japan)
PENIS ENLARGEMENT (Italy)
PENIS GEYSER (USA)
POTTERSVILLE (USA)
PSYCHOTIC SUFFERANCE (Malaysia)
PTAO (Czech Republic)
RATTENKRIEG (USA)
RECTAL TWAT (USA)
RUPTURE (Australia)
SAUERKRAUT (Bulgaria)
SCREWTAPE (Australia)
SETE STAR SEPT (Japan)
SHATTER DEAD (Brazil)
SLAPENDEHONDEN (Holland)
SLAUGHTERGRAVE (Greece)
SMG (Malaysia)
STAB! (USA)
SUPER FUN HAPPY SLIDE (Australia)
TEA PARTY VIOLENCE (USA)
TEENAGE DESIRES (Japan)
THC ERADICUS (USA)
THE OILY MENACE (USA)
TxQxBx (Norway)
VIOLENT HEADACHE (Spain)
VOMIR (France)
VRV (Belgium)
WADGE (Canada)
ZOMBIE HATE BRIGADE (USA)
ZULANWAR (USA)

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CRUSTCAKE REVIEWS: PHOBIA - UNRELENTING

by Andrew Wilhelm (TX)

"If You Used to Be Punk, Then You Never Were," the final track on Phobia's latest EP, Unrelenting, sounds like a title for a J. Randall blog post or an expression an aging punker would use in his weekly complaint about "the scene." Metal blog commenters would cry "Elitist!" as a populist reflex. However, it's that very sentiment that is the essence of Unrelenting. This is a record for the grind diehards, those who've been trading tapes and 7-inches since Earache had a decent lineup and Slap a Ham still had a pulse. Tradition over innovation is the modus operandi, and as perilous as that be, Phobia have the know-how to do it right.

Unrelenting has all the ingredients Phobia's been utilizing since 1990. Songs range from short ("Life's Animosity" is the "2112" at 1:50) to really short ("Soon" is seven times longer than "You Suffer"). The whole thing is over in 14 minutes. Shane McLachlan alternates between gruff growls and rasps, as he has since the band formed. The most technical it gets are a few dive bombs here and there. While not a lot has changed in 20 years, the addition of Kill the Client's Bryan Fajardo on drums has tightened the band's attack. Also, we now live in an era where decent production metallicizes even the most Food-Not-Bombs-4-Life punk bands. Like 22 Acts of Random Violence and Cruel, it's not quite as bass-heavy as Get Up and Kill, though it's in no way impoverished.

As would befit this record, packaging is fairly simple. There are similarities with the cover and Phobia's 1993 effort, Return to Desolation, what with the mass grave skulls and crosses. The vinyl is translucent and blood-red, which is pretty cool. Alas, this is a grind record - there's no point in going into great detail about the presentation.

[Buy] : Phobia - Unrelenting (And in a twist of irony, you can get Margrudergrind's Crusher for free!)

Audio: 7.5/10
Visual: 7/10

Front Cover


Back Cover


Insert


Vinyl Side A


Vinyl Side B

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THESE SEANS' BEST OF 2010

10~

Defeatist
Sixth Extinction [Purchase]
(Willowtip)

Possibly the tightest band on the face of the Earth, Defeatist do grind like no one else. Despite short song lengths, their material is adventurous. Aaron Nichols' guitar riffs know no limitation; luckily, neither do the rhythm section.

Crucial Cut: "Death Holds Her Brood"


9~

The Howling Wind
Into The Cryosphere [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

Rejecting black metal maybe the only true way to make true black metal these days. Big riffs and thick guitar tone give this record the weight of an avalanche.

Crucial cut: "Teeth Of Frost" [MP3]


8~

Twilight
Monument To Time End [Purchase]
(Southern Lord)

When Blake Judd started talking about industrial influences for Nachtmystium's Addicts: Black Meddle, Part II, I got really excited. This is the record I was hoping he was going to make.

Crucial cut: "Negative Signal Omega" [MP3]


7~

Ludicra
The Tenant [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

The Tenant shows dedication to an idea, and the blossoming of that idea despite sorrow and hardship. Truly an album reflective of its time and place.

Crucial cut: "A Clean, White Void" [MP3]


6~

Immolation
Majesty & Decay [Purchase]
(Nuclear Blast)

Definitive Immolation. While Close to a World Below will continue to be everyone on a message board's favorite record, Majesty & Decay will end up with the most listens.

Crucial cut: "A Token Of Malice"


5~

Vasaeleth
Crypt Born & Tethered To Ruin [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

I have yet to reach the bottom of this record's core. Black/death atmosphere come a-plenty, but so do ideas and songs. A record worth letting taking you over, rather than trying to fight through.

Crucial cut: "Curse Seeping Through Flesh" [MP3]


4~

Harvey Milk
A Small Turn Of Human Kindness [Purchase]
(Hydra Head Records)

Possibly the most miserable record ever recorded, punctuated by moments of beauty. Harvey Milk never disappoint, and Small Turn brilliantly follows up the critically-lauded Life... by being almost unbearable. Trying to listen to this record is hard, even for someone who enjoys it, but there was a few months this year when it clicked in for me and was stuck on play.

Crucial cut: "I Know This Is No Place For You" [MP3]


3~

Unearthly Trance
V [Purchase]
(Relapse)

Once the guitar kicks in for the verse of "Unveiled," I'm taken in, and there is no escape from V. Without a doubt the most fully-realized start to finish record this year, V offers up doom laced with punk, noise and a sense that these travellers have found their path, and they are dragging us with them.

Crucial cut: "The Horsemen Arrive In The Night" [MP3]


2~

Coffinworm
When All Became None [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

This record reeks of evil. Thankfully, it also has some of the best songs written this year. I've turned many people onto this record this year who are not remotely interested in doom, yet have completely fallen for it. Everything happens just when it needs to happen in these songs, and the listener is left with large sense of satisfaction.

Crucial cut: "Blood Born Doom" [MP3]


1~

Castevet
Mounds Of Ash [Purchase]
(Profound Lore)

I never saw the black metal in Castevet that everyone else did. That's where black metal is now, the subject of subjugation. What is clear to me is the genius of Andrew Hock. His compositions stun as guitars whirl and drums shimmer. This record touches every level for me: the musician, the listener, the headbanger, the intellectual.

Crucial cut: "Grey Matter" [MP3]

~~~~~~

I also really liked:

Thou - Summit
Salome - Terminal
Hail Of Bullets - On Divine Wings
Father Befouled - Morbid Destitution Of Covenant
Coliseum - House With A Curse
Pollution - ®SMUT
Nails - Unsilent Death
Hooded Menace - Never Cross The Dead
Dishammer - Under The Sign Of The D-Beat Mark

~~~~~~

Two favorite records from 2009 I didn't get to until this year:

GREYMACHINE - Disconnected
Infinitum Obscure - Sub Atris Caelis

~~~~~~

My other #1

Unearthly Trance / The Endless Blockade 12" Split

In case you haven't noticed, I got pretty into Ryan Lipynsky this year. I consumed his work in large quantities and rather than just 'enjoying' his work, I found it to be inspiring. This split shows the excellent work of two bands that strive to create art with their medium. Beyond their ideologies, this split is incredibly listenable. The Endless Blockade's "One Handed Christ Destroyer" might be my song of the year, and it is constructed with just drums, vocals and noise. This split succeeds in giving the listener a kaleidoscope view of the power of art.

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