Crustcake Reviews: Torche - Meanderthal

by crustcake gerf (NYC)

No sense beating around the bush here-- this is the best record I've heard in the 2008 calendar year so far. Hands down. Torche is the only band in the world that's successfully heavy and catchy at the same time. There, I said it. And not only that-- when Torche is heavy, Torche is fucking heavy; and when Torche is catchy, well I'll be damned if those songs don't plant themselves firmly in your stream of conscious and stay there for a few days. And that's a good thing.

As with last year's In Return EP, Meanderthal opens up with an instrumental 'intro' track of sorts: "Triumph of Venus" is fast, bright, and proggy, immediately setting a different tone from In Return's lumbering opening barrage, "Warship." "Venus" gives way to the album's first single (or, at least, the first song on the album with single potential), "Grenades." After a hopping intro, vocalist/guitarist Steve Brooks launches into the first verse as he, along with guitarist Juan Montoya and bassist Jonathan Nuñez, pound away at a one-note, slow slow fastfastfastfast riff.

"Pirana" picks up the pace, riffing and pounding its point home in a mere minute and a half and before you know it you're into the comparatively slower (and heavier) "Sandstorm." This album is just absolutely fucking relentless... Hit after hit after hit; riff, riff, riff, hook, hook, riff. How the fuck do they do it?!

Next up is "Speed of the Nail" (I'm convinced its main riff was inspired by Missy Elliot's "Get Ur Freak On"). What is the speed of the nail, you ask? It's fast. And heavy. And catchy.

Can it get any better?

YES.

"Healer" (MP3 below) is the best song of 2008. At least so far, but it will be hard to top. I have no idea why, but it's just that fucking good. FUCK.

Some review this is turning out to be, huh? So much for 'journalism' and 'integrity' and all that shit. Ah, fuck it. I'll leave that crap to Pitchfork and just continue being the fanboy that I am.

After "Healer," we get the radio rocker "Across The Shields." I don't remember where I read this or I'd link to it, but "Across The Shields" is what mainstream hard rock should sound like.

"Sundown" is the weakest cut on the album, but, though it seems like a bit of an afterthought, it's still a solid song. After the sprightly and brief "Little Champion" comes "Without A Sound," which reminds me of something that I can't quite put my finger on... But it's something good.

Meanderthal closes with three solid cuts-- "Fat Waves," which, after a short intro, vamps for a few minutes on a tom-heavy jam, followed by "Amnesian," a song reminiscent of the band's self-titled debut, and then finally the title track, which contains the only use of the band's signature bombstring on the entire album. And boy is it a welcome sound.

Let's get to the physical record. In what is one of the most creative presentations for an LP I've ever seen, the high-gloss cover folds out like wings and then down like an accordion, revealing a three-panel, 36-inch spread (for comparison's sake, your dick is only three inches) of weird cartoony creatures hangin' on a mountain road.


[front]


[front, 'wings' opened]


[front, full spread]

The vinyl itself, protected by a slip cover, is visible through the back of the jacket:


[back]

The LP is available in black (above) or as a picture disc, which I don't have a picture of unfortunately.

In short, Meanderthal is 13 songs over a mere 36 minutes and you'll find yourself wanting to relive those 36 minutes over and over and over again. Get the vinyl version at one of the band's upcoming shows, or wait for it to turn up online.

10/10 [Audible]
9.5/10 [Physical]

Download: Torche - "Healer" [MP3]
Listen: Torche [MySpace]
Buy: Torche - Meanderthal [Amazon]