* The music industry's war on itself.
In the dying days of the music business as we once knew it, record labels are waging war on leaks—only to discover that many of the saboteurs come from within the industry itself.
* Last October, Erik Engstrom or HORSE the Band whipped up a few brutally comedic essays for MetalSucks.net.
When they had to play something was wrong with the drum triggers so they couldn’t use them, and there were no overhead mics at the club. After 2 songs the band literally just had to stop playing cause no one (no one) could hear kick or cymbal. It’s not like the drummer just said fuck it, kicked it in to overdrive, and made it happen. He couldn’t actually hit his drums hard enough for them to be audible.
That’s how fucking brutal metal is today. In order to play your songs you need a sensor to detect the slightest brush against your kick drum head and then it sends a really loud noise to the PA. And you can’t hit gigantic cymbals hard enough for people standing on stage with you to hear. That’s talent. That’s fucking brutal.
* SomethingAwful.com has a glimpse of the RIAA-issued CD liner notes of the future.
The following scenarios of CD use have been deemed acceptable by the RIAA:
• Listening to the CD alone, in a room with no windows and a towel stuffed under the crack in the door.
* The New Christian Science Textbook. Fun!
As the world becomes overrun with sin more and more souls are sent to stoke the fires of Hell. As the Earth produces more heat our environment becomes more hostile. We must repent in order to stop our polar ice caps from melting



















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