May 30, 2012

SCORE SOME 'BLASPHEMOUS BIRTH CANAL': AN INTERVIEW WITH MIDNIGHT

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

Rites of Darkness may have had logistics from hell, but no attendee would deny it was an amazing weekend. Most of the fest was top-shelf black and doom, but one of the highlights that broke from the kvlt kollective were Ohio speed metal unit Midnight. Stagediving and horn-pumping were reached their peak during Midnight's raucuous set. Some stagedivers even got a face full of concrete because everyone was raging too hard! What incited such madness? These dudes do Venom better than Venom now - Cronos should focus his energy on shilling hair-growth products ala Blaze Bayley and let mainman Jamie "Athenar" Walters handle all the music! Midnight have been banging out sleazy jams since 2003, but Satanic Royalty, released this past November, has raised their profile quite a bit. It's got all the gin-soaked goodness that makes Midnight the perfect hesher party band, so raise a glass to their success!

I spoke with Athenar about getting devil girls, Rites of Darkness, and what's in store for Midnight ahead.

[Ed. note: In keeping with the amped up nature of Midnight's music, we are keeping the format of his answers as-is.]

Crustcake: You've been in quite a few bands. What made you want to make the music that Midnight does?

Athenar (vocals, guitars, bass): BECAUSE IT'S THE MUSIC I LIKE TO HEAR. WHEN I FIRST HAD THE IDEA FOR THE BAND I JUST WANTED TO PLAY WHAT I CONSIDERED SATANIC HEAVY METAL. NOT LIKE ALL THE OTHER DEATH/BLACK METAL BANDS THAT PLAY JUST A BUNCH OF NOISE WITH NO LYRICS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND, NO RIFFS YOU CAN UNDERSTAND, NO DRUMBEATS THAT YOU CAN AIRDRUM TO, NO GUITAR SOLOS THAT YOU CAN AIRGUITAR TO, NO FUCKING CRONOS BASS SLIDES ETC....

Crustcake: What was the songwriting and recording process for Satanic Royalty like?

Athenar: FAST AS A SHARK. [Ed. note part II: This is a good time to remind our readers that early Accept rules.]

Crustcake: Catchiness is an important part of the music. Is this a conscious part of songwriting?

Athenar: YEAH I THINK WHEN MOST PEOPLE MAKE UP A SONG YOU WANT PEOPLE TO REMEMBER IT. WHEN I SAY MOST I MEAN IN ALL GENRES NOT JUST HEAVY METAL.

Crustcake: In "Endless Slut," you document banging the devil's daughter. For the metalheads who don't quite have your game - how do we score demon girls?

Athenar: WELL FIRST YOU HAVE TO LOSE YOU HAIR, WASTE YOUR TIME COLLECTING RECORDS, DON'T GO TO PARTIES, ONLY LEAVE YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK, WATCH THE JERK AND POLICE ACADEMY A LOT, THEN YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO GETTING SOME BLASPHEMOUS BIRTH CANAL!

Crustcake: Quite a few of your songs - "White Hot Fire" and "Violence on Violence," notably - advocate fucking shit up. Has there even been a show, though, where there was too much destruction going on?

Athenar: NO. "WHITE HOT FIRE" WAS THOUGHT OF WHILE I WAS DRIVING THOUGH DOWNTOWN DETROIT A FEW YEARS BACK WHEN THERE WAS THAT BLACKOUT ON THE EAST COAST AND PARTS OF THE MIDWEST. IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THAT CITY WAS ABOUT TO GO UP IN FLAMES AT ANY SECOND.

Crustcake: Midnight's profile has been rising since the release of Satanic Royalty, with more frequent live gigs and positive press. What do you make of it?

Athenar: I GUESS IT'S TRUE, THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO TAKE A BIG SHIT AND MOST HUMANS ARE DUMMIES.

Crustcake: Midnight were easily the rowdiest band at Rites of Darkness. What was your experience at the festival, especially given that there was no shortage of controversy surrounding it?

Athenar: THERE WOULD'VE BEEN NO CONTROVERSY HAD THERE NOT BEEN AN INTERNET. IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING. WHO GIVES A SHIT. YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE GONE TO SEE BANDS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER IN THE 80'S AND WHEN YOU SHOWED UP THEY HAD CANCELLED? A LOT. BUT BIG DEAL, WHAT COULD YOU DO? JUST WATCH THE OTHER BANDS AND HOPE THEY DON'T SUCK ASSHOLES! THAT BEING SAID I THOUGHT THE GIG WAS REALLY GOOD.

Crustcake: Some people fell flat into the ground and ate concrete during your Rites show. Got any stagediving tips so that others don't meet the same fate?

Athenar: STAY HOME WOULD BE THE FIRST TIP. ANOTHER WOULD BE DON'T RUB UP AGAINST OTHER SWEATY MEN AND THEN JUST INTO A PILE OF SWEATY MEN WEARING SPIKES. OR JUST EAT THE CONCRETE, YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TEETH TO GO AROUND!

Crustcake: The Midnight Mistresses and fire didn't make appearances at Rites. Is there a chance they will at Chaos?

Athenar: YOU NEVER KNOW, NOT TOO MUCH IS PLANNED AHEAD. WHO KNOWS IF I'M STILL DOING THIS YEARS FROM NOW THERE WILL BE APPEARANCES BY THE MIDNIGHT GOLDEN GIRLS.

Crustcake: What's coming up for Midnight after Chaos?

Athenar: WE ARE PLAYING A FESTIVAL IN GERMANY AND THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE.

Crustcake: Anything else you want to add?

Athenar: I DON'T LIKE MATH.

Midnight have two show scheduled during Chaos in Tejas. The first is a day show on Saturday at Beerland with Toxic Holocaust, Power Trip, Gas Chamber, and Stick Together. They will also play at Red 7 on Sunday with Ringworm, Ghoul, Hank Wood and the Hammerheads, and Secret Prostitutes.

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CRUSTY CLIP OF THE WEEK: WINTER - 'GODEN' LIVE IN BROOKLYN



Every single Wednesday without fail, your hosts post a suitably stale video clip that we think needs to be revisited. Click here for more Crusty Clips. Got a clip you think we should post? Send it to crustcake@gmail.com.

Low and slow. Low and fucking slow. Need we say more?

Winter will play at Mohawk on Saturday with Antisect, Deviated Instinct, Zyanose, Hoax, The Impalers, and Death Evocation.

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May 29, 2012

BLASTS AND BUD ICE: AN INTERVIEW WITH ABSU

All photos by Melanie Hathaway

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

[Ed. note: Absu were forced to cancel their Chaos in Tejas appearance, as Proscriptor was rushed back to Texas following their Maryland Deathfest performance to perform surgery on a knee infection, and unfortunately will not recover in time for Saturday's show. Nonetheless, we wish him a full and speedy recovery.]

One could argue that Absu drummer Proscriptor has a cult of personality revolving around him. There's the infamous interview in the American Underground Black Metal tape where he speaks about magick...with a 22 oz. Bud Ice in hand. He auditioned for Slayer after Paul Bostaph left, and allegedly Slayer rejected him because he was TOO evil. Most of all, there's his chops. They've long been the backbone of the DFW unit's black thrash onslaught, going on more than two decades strong. Absu's winning streak continues with Abzu, which scales back some of the grandiosity of their previous records without sacrifing the essence of the band. Proscriptor's percussion prowness and banshee wails are on full display, and the rest of the band, bassist Ezezu and guitarist Vis Crom, contribute to knotted, thrashy arrangements that rank among the group's finest work since their Equitant/Shaftiel days.

I spoke with Proscriptor about Abzu's direction, former Mayhem guitarist Blasphemer's inclusion on the album, what he really drinks instead of Bud Ice, and more.

Crustcake: Abzu recalls the thrashiness of the band's earlier works. Where do you see it in the Absu canon?

Proscriptor (drums and vocals): The main objective in the realm of ABSU is to never formulate the same album twice within the discography. Abzu is the first album to feature latest members Ezezu (bass guitar/vocals) and Vis Crom, (guitar) which euphonically displays a violent, yet more thrash vibe. The latest album also clocks in at a flat thirty-six minutes, which is a shorter-than-normal duration for our full-lengths, but as previously stated, discographical diversity is the key.

Crustcake: What is the general composition process for Absu? Are songs written around drums, or it is the other way around?

Proscriptor: This process works in one of two ways: usually, the guitars are initially composed and the percussive implements are interweaved around them or I draft general arrangements and hand them over to both Ezezu and Vis Com. Ezezu is a guitarist as well, so they both equally distribute songwriting delivery.

Crustcake: Some of the 70s prog influences found on Absu are still in Abzu, namely "A Song for Ea" and the ending passage of "Circles of the Oath." How do you see those influences working into the band?

Proscriptor: I am a vast admirer of this musical movement and feel it’s extremely eminent to incorporate these elements inside the music. I have always wanted to be a part of 70s influenced progressive band, but the next best aspect is filtering these inspirations within the compositions of ABSU. At any rate, it shall happen rather soon.

Crustcake: How did you get Blasphemer to perform leads on Abzu? What made you seek him out for this record?

Proscriptor: Actually, he performed the solos on the last two albums and will continue to proceed with the third part of the trilogy titled Apsu. We have had stalwart camaraderie with the members of Aura Noir for many years now and have always been immensely fascinated with Blasphemer’s playing execution.

Crustcake: Abzu is lean compared to Absu and Tara, clocking in around 36 minutes. Was it intentional to have a shorter record?

Proscriptor: Yes and I shall explain why: the aforementioned releases were well over the fifty-minute mark and we wanted to devise a shorter, express release. Also, each member of the band is geographically scattered across the country, so it’s not as convenient to rehearse; nevertheless, it successfully worked.

Crustcake: Drumming the style that you do and singing at the same time must be, to put it lightly, quite physically demanding. What sort of preparations do you undergo so that you're in optimal condition to perform?

Proscriptor: I run approximately twelve to fifteen miles per week, so this specifically helps with the calisthenics of performing and signing simultaneously.

Crustcake: Chaos in Tejas ran into some controversy early on and had to drop El Paso black metal band Nyogthaeblisz due to some groups protesting the band's anti-Semitic views. Death metal band Disma cancelled shortly thereafter due to mounting questions about singer Craig Pillard's past. In a little over two decades as a band, has Absu ever been the subject of a forced cancellation because an organizer or other bands on the bill took issue with Absu's stances, musical or otherwise?

Proscriptor: No.

Crustcake: Absu's interview in the American Underground Black Metal documentary is legendary, to say the least. What do you remember of the making of the film? What were you watching while the interview was conducted? Is Bud Ice always your drink of choice?

Proscriptor: I was listening to Cottonwood Hill by the legendary psychedelic band Brainticket and at the time, those thirty-two Bud Ice “brain grenades” were my choice of oat soda. Today, I usually stick with clear, clean cocktails and avoid beer due to extensive caloric intake. (Gin/Vodka Tonic, Etc.)

Crustcake: In this live clip of "Pillars of Mercy" from Holland, you're wearing a shirt that says "I Love Proscriptor." It's an interesting item. How did you come into possession of it? What other noteworthy offerings have fans made for you?

Proscriptor: ABSU’s tour manager had that shirt personally made as a joke and I happened to sport it that particular evening due to a few guests that were present.

Crustcake: I also wanted to ask you about the Starchaser Network project you had with Equitant. It's definitely different from your work in Absu - lots of Giorgio Moroder vibes. What did you get out of that project? Is there any chance it may become active again?

Proscriptor: Equitant and myself are fanatics of late 70s disco and early 80s electronic/new wave and wanted to collaborate on a different project outside the customary guidelines of ABSU. I released the self-titled album in 2007 on my label, Tarot Productions, but to be honest, the reception was not taken seriously. Personally, I feel it’s a noteworthy release and there is a niche fan base, but I’m uncertain what the future holds for Starchaser Network.

Crustcake: Any other comments you'd like to make?

Proscriptor: Thank you for the interview and to all who holds the eternal flame for mythological occult metal.

Absu will play at Red 7 on Saturday with Black Witchery, Ares Kingdom, and Terrorism. Loss, sadly, had to cancel.

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May 23, 2012

CRUSTY CLIP OF THE WEEK: DOUBLE CHAOS IN TEJAS EDITION - BLACK WITCHERY AND MAUSER



Every single Wednesday without fail, your hosts post a suitably stale video clip that we think needs to be revisited. Click here for more Crusty Clips. Got a clip you think we should post? Send it to crustcake@gmail.com.

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

Two bands from Florida will compete at Chaos In Tejas - Black Witchery and Mauser. Crunk black metal vs. crust punk. Who will win?


Black Witchery will play Saturday June 2 at Red 7 with Absu, Loss, Ares Kingdom, Morbosidad, and Terrorism. Mauser will play Friday June 1 at Mohawk with Municipal Waste, Ghoul, Dropdead, Forward, Skizophrenia, and Wild//Tribe. They will also do a day show Sunday June 3 with Zyanose, Koward, Vaaska, and Dead Line.

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May 21, 2012

TEENAGE RIOT: AN INTERVIEW WITH PSYCHIC TEENS

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

Imagine if Joy Division, Sonic Youth, and Hüsker Dü got together for a jam session. Everyone wanted to stick around for some Akira, Broken Flowers, and a few episodes from Twin Peaks' first season afterwards. Make a run for beer before the store closes at midnight, order some pizza (from a local joint, not a chain), plop on the couches, and chill out. Philadelphia post-punk unit Psychic Teens sound like the result of such an evening. The trio is dark and melodic, but also playful. They're the heaviest of the new wave of post-punk groups, injecting noise rock and heartfelt anger not seen in many Curtis-come-latelys. Psychic Teens released TEEN last year and HALO, an EP of Nine Inch Nails covers, recently, and both are recommended if you want to get both heavy and moody.

Check out my interrogation of the band's vocalist and guitarist, Larry Ragone, below.

Crustcake: What was the making of TEEN like?

Larry Ragone (vocals and guitars): TEEN was quick and surprisingly easy. We bought some cheap beers and we packed our own dinners from home. That pretty much sums up the record – most of it was ready before we walked into the studio except for the vocals and lyrics, which I ended up doing on the fly. We knew what we wanted and worked with a good friend who knows our sound. We didn't even realize it'd be an LP until after we were finished.

Crustcake: Your description on the bandcamp page is "Sounds like that time you spotted your creepy metalhead brother at 80s night," but quite a few metalheads have embraced post-punk in recent years. What do you make of this interesting crossover?

Ragone: I haven’t really noticed that crossover – at least not in Philadelphia. Unless you count people arbitrarily wearing Joy Division shirts.

Crustcake: I've heard comparisons to Ian Curtis concerning the vocals. Would you say this is accurate? How you say vocals are approached?

Ragone: The vocals are the last thing on my mind when we are composing songs – at least on the first record. When it came time to decide what I wanted to do for TEEN, I knew that a monotone and atmospheric approach fit the music we had written quite well. Even the songs that were “heavier” or more “punky”, I figured that I had to keep it all sounding consistent.

Crustcake: Psychic Teens also feels heavier than many post-punk-influenced bands, mainly because of the noise-rock influence. How does that work into the music? Do you want Psychic Teens to be heavy?

Ragone: Yes. We love heavy music. Dave and I both listen to metal and Joe loves punk rock. It definitely comes out in the song writing. The initial band practices that lead to Psychic Teens featured stuff that was more “riff-driven” as opposed to the more bassline driven stuff we are playing with now. I think that the aggression that is conjured when playing heavy and loud music supplements our live performance too. We don’t want to run the risk of ever being boring or monotonous while playing a set.

Crustcake: Quite a few of the songs feature driving bass lines. Where does that element come from?

Ragone: Definitely a product of our influences. Pretty much all of our favorite bands have really melodic, prominent bass lines. My favorite songs are usually structured/arranged with the basis resting entirely on the rhythm section, and then the guitars add layers of texture.

Crustcake: The cover of TEEN, with the heart X-ed out, is quite stark, almost deceivingly cute. What does it mean to you?

Ragone: It represents the lyrical content and feel of the record. Unmistakably, this is a record about heartbreak and anger and insecurity. The cover is a very simple representation of its content.

Crustcake: The band incorporates anime into the band's visual aesthetic, such as the Ramona Flowers tee. What makes you want to work with that?

Ragone: Visual arts are as important to the band aesthetic as sound. I am a fan of comics and Japanese animation and I really think that today, people are more up on that type of visual medium than before. With images like the heart and the x from the album cover to a recognizable image from Scott Pilgrim people can make connections to other mediums while experiencing our music.

Crustcake: Does living in Philadelphia influence the band at all? What's the side of Philadelphia not a lot people see?

Ragone: Living in Philadelphia really influences the band – not as much in the sense of lyrical and musical content but certainly in our work ethic. I feel as if we need to work harder to keep up in Philadelphia. There are a lot of bands out there all competing for the same shows with the same promoters. It can get cliquey - I think the only way to combat that is to keep coming back with interesting and unexpected content and to keep peoples cellphones in their pockets while we are playing either with excessive volume or a strong visual showing.

Crustcake: Recently, you released a set of Nine Inch Nails covers. What about that band has made an impact on you creatively and/or personally? What did you want to add to the songs?

Ragone: Nine Inch Nails is a major influence on each of the Teens as well as the band as a whole. Their combination of electronic/dance music with angry, fast, loud punk/metal, not to mention mixing incredibly ugly sounds with hummable melodies, blew my mind at a young age; this was well before i knew about any post-punk or noise bands, and NIN got me to check out a wider variety of music.

Ragone: When we first came together, one of the influences I cited was The Slip-era Nine Inch Nails. Very basic and pounding rhythms with angry lyrics. I don’t think Trent Reznor gets recognition he deserves as a producer or musician. He’s great.

Crustcake: Is there a particular reason you focus on early NIN material for the split?

Ragone: This Pre-The Fragile-era – I feel is Nine Inch Nails at their purest form. I think Reznor opened himself up to too many outside influences after The Downward Spiral. A NIN political song? No thanks. The Downward Spiral is so introspective and angry. I tend to write my lyrics the same way. Plus the guitars on Broken are HUGE. Also, the obvious fact that those are all songs we all knew inside-out from hearing them a thousand times over the last 15-20 years, so it made them easier to learn and instantly more recognizable.

Crustcake: What's next for Psychic Teens?

Ragone: I think it will be a repeat of last year – some shows sporadically during the summer and then in fall we plan to have some new music available, hopefully a new 7inch at least. And playing more shows again once that comes out.

Crustcake: Juicy J can't say no to drugs. What can't Psychic Teens say no to?

Ragone: Free pizza.

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May 16, 2012

WE STILL MISS YOU, DIO

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CRUSTY CLIP OF THE WEEK: DOUBLE CHAOS IN TEJAS EDITION - DOKKEN AND SAINT VITUS



Every single Wednesday without fail, your hosts post a suitably stale video clip that we think needs to be revisited. Click here for more Crusty Clips. Got a clip you think we should post? Send it to crustcake@gmail.com.

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

Dokken doesn't have any Chaos in Tejas shows planned, or any upcoming Texas shows for that matter. What do they have to do with the festival? Don Dokken, the band's vocalist and namesake, was behind the boards for Saint Vitus' 1992 record C.O.D., a divisive record amongst Vitus faithful - but we'll get to that later. Let's shift our focus on the video Dokken's roaring 1984 jam "Just Got Lucky." 80s pop-metal was known for its theatrics, but few can top George Lynch's stunt of soloing on top of an active volcano. Trey Azagthoth may have released a collection of solos called Love of Lava, but Lynch may have bested him there. Aside from that, it's a fairly rote 80s music video, which means you'll likely find a Jorge Luis Borges story easier to dissect. What's with the mirrored room the band performs in? Why does the band proceed to destroy it? Who is bassist Jeff Pilson (also of the world's worst Judas Priest allegory, a.k.a. Steel Dragon) making the gun hand motion towards? Many questions are left unanswered, and asking those questions leads to the only question that needs to be asked: why aren't you rocking?

Dokken had a little more edge than most bands of their ilk, but L.A. slickness still found its way into Don's production for C.O.D.. Saint Vitus' earliest records were produced by SST house producer Spot, who brought a ghostly sound to the band's biker-Sabbath vibe, and thus, C.O.D. could be seen as total 180. C.O.D. was also the only record to feature vocalist Christian Lindersson of Count Raven and now Lord Vicar. Stylistically, he's closer to the band's first vocalist, Scott Reagers, than the more well-known Scott "Wino" Weinrich. but Lindersson has a slightly more Gothic inflection than those who came before him - who also happen to be those who succeeded him. Reagers replaced him for 1995 for Die Healing, and Wino reunited with the band in 2003 for a few shows and in 2008 for good. C.O.D. remains an overlooked oddity in Saint Vitus' catalog, but it's got some crucial cuts, such as "Fear." The video for the song isn't really special, just a performance clip, but it is a cool look into the short Linderssson era of the band.

Saint Vitus will play Chaos in Tejas June 1st with Church of Misery, Hail!Hornet, Mammoth Grinder, The Gates of Slumber, Magic Circle, and King's Destory at Red 7. Dokken will be touring around the States this summer - you can find those dates here.

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TO 'INFINITY GUITARS' AND BEYOND: SLEIGH BELLS LIVE

Sleigh Bells
Where: Warehouse Live, Houston, TX
When: April 18, 2012
With: Javelin, Elite Gymnastics

By Andy O'Connor (TX)

Trolls, this is the penbanger you're looking for.

Why am I covering Sleigh Bells, a band who's been on the cover of Spin, show on a metal site? Well, they're are an exception to one of metal's key characteristics: that when metal mixes with any other genre, metal is always the dominating influence. For example, you hear about jazz-metal, but do you hear about metal-jazz? Sleigh Bells aren't a metal group, but for dance music, it's awfully metal. The duo, comprised of former Poison the Well guitarist Derek Miller and singer/onetime Nickelodeon Magazine commerical actress/current crush Alexis Krauss, combine block rockin' beats with big guitars that would theaten to shoot punks to Mars. Krauss also has a penchant for going from indie goddess voice to cheerleader shout effortlessly. It's as though Slayer discovered dance music. They toy around with the metal aesthetic as well, as Jackson shred machines are strongly featured both in the design of their latest record, Reign of Terror, and in Miller's hands. Reign of Terror – that's a name for a metal album if I've ever heard one, and in fact, it's the title of one of Death's demos. Some of their merch designs spell “Sleigh” as “Slay,” because Slay Bells sounds tougher.

Cries of “hipsters!” and “ironic co-opting!” ring out, but I'm too busy dancing to care. Sure, they may attract an “indie” crowd, but people are into loud guitar music of some sort? Victory! The world needs less twee, less whimsical folk product, more distortion, more tinnitus.

And hey, sometimes I like to go to shows where there's girls.

Right after I parked, I witnessed a white car, can't recall the make and model, accelerate in reverse and crash into a building. As much as I try to live by the positive spirit of Three 6 Mafia rapper, Academy Award winner and mimosa connoisseur Juicy J, it was appalling to see someone get too turnt up too early. It was also an apt representation of, and also much more exciting than, the two bands that opened for Sleigh Bells: Elite Gynmastics and Javelin. While I arrived for the tail end of Elite Gynamsitics set, it was enough to conclude that they're neither 1%ers or athletic. Tepid dance-rock that tried to encourage the audience to sing through putting the lyrics up on a screen instead of writing, you know, memorable tunes. I've actually been witness – on accident – to Javelin once before during SXSW, while I was killing time at Cheer Up Charlie's before heading to Vice Kills Texas. Their quasi-Beastie Boys rapping and marshmallow pop wasn't fresh then, and nothing changed a month later.

Sleigh Bells' stage setup included two mini Marshall walls, two cabs tall by four cabs long. Cute, but if they want to make the big time, they have to go full-on Slayer (or at least try harder than Immortal). Krauss banged her head all metal thrashing mad, even when she was singing about what your boyfriend thinks about your braces. Miller and touring sideman Jason Boyer kept cool like guitar-slinging heartthrobs on the varsity team. There were more girls in floral skirts bouncing around in the front than most heshers do at metal shows. Was I falling victim to cultural misappropriation? You've never seen a dude in an Anhedonist shirt bounce wildly to “Infinity Guitars,” but you've most likely never met me either. As I watched Sleigh Bells, I realized they've got more in common with New York double-headed death metal beast Mortician than most people would think. Both bands use chunky guitar pieces as cornerstones of their sounds, both bands realize that a drum machine is mechanized muscle (Mortician have forgotten this live – Zombie Massacre Live is one of the worst records ever committed to CD), both boil down metal to the bare essentials and get a lot a mileage out of that simplicity. Doubt Miller and Krauss will be inducted into the New York Death Militia any time soon, but stranger things have happened. If there was a standout song of the night, it was “Comeback Kid,” which is one of this year's ultimate club bangers, the others being R. Kelly's “Share My Love” and Torche's “Kiss Me Dudely.” Throbbing synthetic double bass, licks hotter than a Houston summertime in a SLAB with no A/C, and Krauss' siren-esque vocals - how can you not get down?

For a short while after the show, I thought Sleigh Bells were the future of metal. By combining dance with metal, they could open up a whole new audience of heshers that like to get funky and bike messengers unafraid of gain. Everybody would thrash as one. It would be like the dance floor from the video of Daft Punk's “One More Time” with more hair. Then I realized I needed to sweat out my PBR a little more. A little idealism never killed anyone, right?

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